Untitled design(1).png
2019-01-21 02.04.19 1.jpg

Balancing

Balancing

We’re all balancing on an edge; just sometimes it doesn’t feel that way and sometimes it does. It’s quite easy to feel in control of our lives. We can take every measure, every precaution and follow every rule but, when it comes down to it, it doesn’t mean much.

We can stretch out our arms and practise balancing; we can wear the correct shoes and work on our belief that we’re not the kind of people who fall. But we cannot control the wind; nor the distance beneath us.

bridget2-1.jpg

There is a commonly held concern that, when everything is going well in one’s life, something is bound to go wrong. Though not based in logic, you are rarely far from an anecdote to this effect. Perhaps it is that investing your limited attention in one area creates a deficit in other areas. Or it could just be that our increased happiness means we have more to lose.

Whatever the reason, it is as though life desperately tries to remind us that our illusion of order is never far away from a descent into chaos; the calm before the storm. As soon as we have a grip on things, things become too large or too sharp to grip.

And, every time, it surprises me. I am too in love with the steady incline; the feeling of progress; the new beginning and the “this time it will be different!” But life is a constant battle between chaos and order. Two fluctuating energies that feel like your whole world when you are struck by one. You can never truly have your life in order because our control over it is limited.

Just as you can take chaos and forge it into order, life can take order and smash it into pieces. It may be cliche, but it is true that we must play the cards that we are dealt. However, more importantly, we must be aware that those cards can change at any moment. Hell, we could wake up one morning to learn we’re playing a completely different game.

So what do we take from this? Is this simply a panic-inducing blog post?

A whole new kind of gratitude rises up from the understanding that what you have could be gone in any moment. I don’t want to worry you; I want to motivate you to feel - truly feel and experience - gratitude for everything you have right now in this moment. We must acknowledge how close chaos is to us in order to avoid taking things for granted.

Like how left needs right to exist - and how up needs down - order needs chaos. I have learned it’s important not to forget this.

Carmen x

Poem: Loss

Poem: Loss

Be quiet

Be quiet

0