Something has changed within me. Something is not the same.
If you follow my YouTube channel, you'll know that I've been reading a book called Selfie that has MESSED ME UP a tad. Despite this, it is incredibly interesting and I absolutely love it. It's about identity and the self and why we are who we are.
So it turns out that who we are is incredibly easily influenced by everything else (the society we're born into, our culture, our genetic makeup, our ancestry, what psychologists say is normal) that I began to question everything: my reality, myself, my behaviours and my decisions. I crawled into bed one night and posed this question to a tired Charles, "I don't believe in fate but, if everything we are is dependent on things that were decided before we were even born, doesn't that mean we are pulled towards an inevitable future?"* That's where my mind was. Full of questions; full of doubts.
It's just a book. A great book. An interesting book. And I don't want to blame it for how I began to feel but I felt crap; like everything was a bit darker. It was like I'd seen behind the curtain and now everything that I thought was true was actually just a story I was telling myself. This information isn't something you can just "take on board" and continue living your life; it makes you question everything. It makes you question your questions.
But it seemed wrong to blame everything on a book. Surely there must be something else wrong. Something with me? With my life?
I am having a break from this book. I've started reading Crush It! by Gary Vee (recommended to me by the wonderful Amy Landino) and I feel SO GOOD. I feel pumped and excited about the future and focussed (hence why I'm blogging again). And, again, it's just a book. How is my mindset changed so suddenly by a book?
I am reminded of how much my life changed when I got rid of my television and started watching minimalist creators on YouTube. Everything got better. Too often we underestimate the effect that seemingly small things have on our lives; the people in it, the content we consume, the food we eat etc. Our experience of the world is a tapestry of these minor things and we have so much control over this.
If you want to improve your life or your thought patterns, before considering eloping, resigning or getting engaged, try improving as many small aspects of your day as possible. Maybe you've been underestimating them too.
P.S. Selfie is definitely worth a read. I just think I was particularly affected by it for some reason.
Selfie: How the West Became Self-Obsessed // https://amzn.to/2qcaCik
Crush It!: Why NOW is the time to cash in on your passion, Gary Vee // https://amzn.to/2Hezyht
*We concluded that, no, there is still some element of free will even if only because it helps our sanity to believe in it.